Crown of Gold
by cake.and.tea
Summary: Matt lives in his own little world. So one day, when someone rings the doorbell for his apartment, he is completely surprised. He's even more surprised at the visitor, the one who left him long ago... MelloxMatt, rated T for language.


_A crown of gold, a heart that's harder than stone, but it hurts a whole lot and it's missed when it's gone._

Matt lays slumped on the floor of his apartment, next to the electric heater, soaking up the dregs of warmth it radiates.

His cigarette hangs lazily out of his mouth, and the smoke is his haven, his protector, soothing his veins. His fingers move across the familiar controls on the DS as he immerses himself inside the world of his video game.

After all, it's better than the real world he lives in. His real world of abandonment, the feeling of being left behind, the feeling of rejection that eats away at him every day. Eating away at him until he is nothing more than a pile of bones and dust.

Matt has spent countless days thinking of Mello, ever since he left all those years ago, leaving a thirteen year old Matt alone at Wammy's. Leaving behind Matt, who would follow Mello to the end of the Earth and back, leaving behind Matt, who loved Mello. And Mello would never know.

Matt remembers the memories he cherishes from Wammy's, the memories of waking up in the morning to see Mello sleeping in a separate bed across the room, his hair a beautiful gold in the early morning sunlight. Mello's personal crown of gold. And each morning, Matt would smile.

He hasn't smiled properly since Mello left.

Laying there on the floor in his personal haven of smoke and video games, Matt is entirely separated from the rest of his world. He just wants to be left in peace, left to himself with his cigarettes, video games and precious memories.

He suddenly realizes the doorbell is ringing. Doorbell? No one has rung Matt's doorbell since he moved in. It has been one of the only electronic devices in the apartment that remains unused, sitting there forlornly at the door, never having any attention paid to it. But this is the way Matt likes it. He doesn't need anyone to visit him.

So he sits there for a while, smoking, listening to the doorbell and its repetitive electronic tune, finding it strangely soothing. He could grow use to this, he thinks. But after a while, he gets up and answers it anyway, walking to the door in his stripes and jeans.

He opens the door and fully expects to see nothing- thinking that he imagined the doorbell ringing. What he didn't expect was to see Mello.

Mello has changed since Matt last saw him. He is donned entirely in leather, from leather pants to a short leather vest that reveals quite a bit of his stomach, and it only makes Matt think he looks better than ever. Not only that, but everything about him is a degree harsher: even the way he takes a bite from the familiar chocolate bar he is holding is more aggressive.

But oh, Matt's memories have been lying to him. Was Mello ever this beautiful in his memories? Matt feels his mouth drop open at the sight of the man standing in front of him.

Mello brushes past him, leaving Matt standing there with his open mouth like a gold fish, glances around the apartment with one disdainful glance- but is there amusement lurking at the corners of his lips?- and flops onto the couch.

"M-Mello?" Matt asks unsurely. Perhaps Mello is entirely the cruel workings of Matt's mind, presenting before him a beautiful hallucination.

Mello glances up at him with those icy blue eyes and Matt thinks of winter. Those eyes have a certain hardness to them now that they did not have before, and Matt wonders what Mello has been through to make him so… so _troubled._

Mello takes a dramatic bite off of his chocolate and stares at Matt, then smiles slightly as he says, "Hi, Matt."

And suddenly Matt is angry. He wants to rip that chocolate out of Mello's hands and throw it across the room in enraged fury, and shake Mello's shoulders in his hands and say over and over: "Why? Why did you leave me? Why?"

But instead, he just says icily, "Why are you back?"

Mello tilts his head to the side and tightens his eyes slightly at Matt.

"Why can't I be back?" He demands, and Matt glares angrily at Mello.

"Don't avoid the question!" Matt snaps viciously, and storms into the kitchen, looking for another cigarette. He lights one up with difficulty; in his anger, his hands are shaking.

Mello has followed him into the kitchen and is resting against the cupboard in a way that makes Matt gulp. Mello, why do you have to be so attractive? he thinks to himself, turning his back to Mello as he smokes.

"Sorry," Mello says simply and Matt whips around to stare at him incredulously. Was that an apology? From _Mello? _Matt has known Mello since he was ten, and Mello rarely apologises. To hear that word escape Mello's lips is rare.

"You're sorry?" Matt splutters. Mello walks closer to Matt so that they are about a metre apart.

"Yeah, I am. I guess you're pretty pissed I abandoned you, right? Well, that's understandable. I guess I could've warned you." Mello says all this while staring at Matt intently, and it's like he's trying to convey something in those blue orbs of his that he can't really say aloud.

"Yeah, I'm fucking pissed," Matt says, still fairly angry. "I've had a hard time without you."

Mello looks at him for the longest time after that, and there's sympathy in those blue orbs now. They're softening, ever so slowly. Oh Mello, Matt thinks, you've always had a heart of stone.

"You're still the same as ever, I see," Mello says and Matt is surprised at the change of topic, but accepts the change willingly nonetheless. He's never been one to like talking about hard, complicated things.

"Yeah, well," Matt says, "I see you've developed a fetish for leather."

Mello narrows his eyes and crosses his arms, and snaps "It looks good!"

Matt can't deny this. It hugs Mello's body in a way that makes Matt ache with longing, so who is he to deny it looks good?

Matt asks Mello what he's been up to. Mello's eyes harden so quickly Matt takes a step back. The change in Mello's features- from guarded to downright dangerous- frightens him.

"I've been trying to capture Kira, and, you know, beat Near and stuff," Mello says simply, "and I somehow got involved in the Mafia."

Matt can't help laughing at the Mafia bit. "Typical!" He grins. He can just imagine Mello in the mafia, bossing all the men twice his size around with a single glance. Mello has always held that kind of power, always being that manipulative. He would fit in well, even though he is only doing it to help capture Kira.

Mello smirks at Matt's laugh and then smiles genuinely.

"I've missed your laugh," he tells Matt. Matt is about to say, "Well, I've missed _everything_ about you," when Mello is pressing his lips against Matt's.

Mello tastes of chocolate and coffee, and his lips are warm against Matt's own. Matt can't believe his own luck- does Mello love him, too? - and kisses back fiercely, winding his fingers through Mello's blond hair. He's never wanted someone so much, never wanted to be so close to someone before. Mello has wrapped his arms around him and is pulling him in with a gasp as they break apart for air, and Matt takes in the feverish look in Mello's eyes and the longing that he can see mirrored in his, and presses his lips back down onto Mello's. And they kiss, again and again, and it is like through each kiss Mello apologises for leaving Matt, and Matt tells Mello how much he has missed him; and each kiss makes everything better.

When they stop kissing after some time, foreheads resting against each other, blue eyes staring into green ones, Mello whispers into Matt's ear: "I really am sorry for leaving, Matt. I can explain it all."

Matt whispers back, "I understand."

"You forgive me?" Mello asks, tilting his head to the side and scrunching up his face. The whole effect is that Mello looks quite… Matt searches for the word, and uses one he never thought he would apply to Mello: _cute. _Yes, Mello is beautiful, dangerous and a man many lust after… but not the type of person you would label as cute. And so the whole thought makes Matt laugh, and Mello glares at him.

"What on earth are you laughing about?" he demands, and Matt sweeps a piece of blond hair off Mello's cheek as he stops laughing.

"Nothing, Mello," he answers back, "but do you know that I love you?"

Mello leans into kiss him in reply, and with that all of Matt's fears, worries and troubles are washed away.

Someone else has entered Matt's little world. Mello, with his chocolate and his leather, Mello, who loves Matt, Mello, who is loved by Matt.


End file.
